As parents we are driven by a powerful desire to do the very best in every way for our children. The big question is this: how do you know what the very best is for your child? Can we assume that just because we gave birth to this precious child we love so much, we automatically know what the very best is for this child that has come into our world? Will your very best be what each of your children need? I ask this because the reality is that each child comes into this world as a unique being with uniquely different needs, unlike any other. So actually, if parents want to do what they consider the ‘best’ for a child, parents will need the ability to raise each child in a way that is in harmony with who the child is and what they uniquely need.
I teach and write about being a ‘healing parent.’ Two interpretations of the word ‘healing’ are ‘health-giving’ and ‘therapeutic.’ So when I refer to being a healing parent it is not because the child is ill. It is because parents who know how to raise children to confidently become the unique spirit and essence that they came into this world with, are parents who are giving their children the gift of great health and wholeness.
To be this kind of health-giving parent you will need three immensely important skills:
- The ability to ‘read’ your child, know who they are, get into their inner world and discover what they need that makes them feel whole.
- The ability to ‘read’ yourself, know who you are, what’s going on in your inner world and what you need.
- The ability to separate who you are and what you need, from who your child is and what he or she needs.
The challenge about being a mom or dad is that we automatically play this parenting role according to the experiences we had as a child and the ‘script’ we took into our adulthood. This is true for every single parent in the world. What’s different, of course, are the types of experiences and scripts each parent carries around inside them. Then along comes your precious child. And with all the love in the world and the best intentions, you unconsciously parent according to your personal script, which may or may not be what your child really needs in order to become the wondrous, talented, unique human being they are meant to be.
3 Questions that will give you the ability to raise a mentally, emotionally and physically healthy child.
Here are three critically important questions you need you ask yourself several times a day. And, of course, for this to work, you will need to be sure that you are being totally honest with yourself when you address these questions. And don’t forget to let me know when you begin to see how it transforms your parenting and your relationship with your child.
- Am I responding to my child in this way because of my own inner ‘stuff’ or am I responding to what is happening in my child’s inner world?
- What message is my response at this moment, sending to my child? Who sent this same message to me when I was growing up?
- What message is my wondrous, unique, talented child really needing from me?
Just a final word. I truly value the wonderful emails I receive from many readers after reading my articles and I understand and honor that you may desire to keep your feedback just between you and I. If you do feel comfortable though to share your feedback with others by leaving a comment below, that would be super because it could also benefit other parents who are on the same journey as you are.