Welcome to the third and final lesson in my series, Gifts from a Broken Bone. It is six weeks since I broke my foot, six long weeks, during which so many of the daily tasks I would normally do so quickly and easily, took much longer to do. I think I mentioned in a previous article that I am a Type A person? So slowing down and letting myself Be Still is a tough lesson for me. Interestingly enough, though, I notice that there are now times when I am beginning to actually enjoy being still. Never thought I would ever say that!
- The first is that being still seems to go hand-in-hand with letting go – letting go of urgency, letting go of control, letting go of self-made ridiculous deadlines and letting go of having things being done my way. I would have imagined that this would be scary for someone like me but instead I am discovering that it is really such a great feeling of relief and freedom. So my new intention is, Be Still, Let Go and Allow Life to Flow to Me instead of trying to control and direct it. Do I succeed every day? Absolutely not but at least, when that feeling of urgency rises up in me, I am quickly aware of it and I can consciously choose to be still and let go. You should try it. It is truly liberating!
- The second interesting aspect of this lesson, Be Still and Let Go is that when I am still, I am able to notice my thoughts and how these thoughts change my body chemistry. The moment I start thinking urgency type thoughts, I can sense my stress hormones rising and I can feel my body tensing (my favorite tense place is between my shoulders blades)! I also immediately feel how my brain becomes foggier and how being focused is more difficult. Being still offers me the opportunity to consciously listen to my inner talk and adjust it when it starts to make me tense. Isn’t that amazing?! What a gift! Remember: There is always a direct relationship between our thoughts and what we experience in our bodies. The key is that when we want to change what our body is experiencing we must always first change the cause – and the cause is always our thoughts.
Thing is, as I have said in each of the two previous articles, the message and content of each lesson I am learning and sharing with you are not something new to me. And my guess is that they are not new to you either. We know about these things. BUT too often this is head space knowing. I honestly question whether I would have taken this ‘head knowledge’ and put it into daily practice as effectively, powerfully and consistently as I am doing since I broke my foot. I have tried it before and each time I have regressed back into being urgent and not having enough time.
If it resonates with you when I say that there is often a major difference between what we know to be good for us and what we choose to do with this knowledge, then I would ask you to make a list of the things you know you need to change, pick one and start doing it differently or it may forever remain an intellectual insight that was never integrated into your life. And one day, as in my case, it could come back to bite you!
Thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you! Sharing has helped me so much with integrating the lessons into my life.
How does Be Still and Let Go relate to Healthy Parenting?
I know I have spoken about these two things – and written about them – countless times, so I guess one more time will be okay. Here goes…
- Your kids mirror what they see you do and say.
- Your kids absorb your stress which then messes with their chemistry.
Urgent, stressed parents raise urgent, stressed kids. In some kids the high stress chemistry that is pumping in their bodies and brains catches up with them early and may trigger symptoms of all kinds of learning and behavior problems. Other kids seem to cope with the stress and pressure until they become teenagers and adults and then we often find, that coping with stress all those years eventually catches up with them then. Think about teenagers and adults who develop stress-related emotional and physical conditions, or who become alcoholics or turn to drugs. Then these teens and early adults become stressed parents and create a lifestyle that wires their own children for stress. And traditional doctors will say, oh this ADHD or depression runs in the family. Yes it does but not in the genetic way they are suggesting.! It is learned behavior.
I highly recommend an exceptional book on this topic: Scared Sick: The Role of Childhood Trauma in Adult Disease by Robin Karr Morse.
What You Can Do Tomorrow.
Put into practice the three experiential lessons I have written about in my Gifts from a Broken Bone series as mom or dad. You will be astounded how this will significantly and measurably reduce your child’s stress levels and allow them to learn easily and behave positively.
- Make Real Connection
Every time you interact with your child, ask yourself, ‘Am I pretending, being distracted or truly connecting?’
- Be in Alignment
Know – or reconnect – with who you are and what you stand for and then line up proudly and courageously behind this. Your kids will learn to do the same by watching you and sensing the calm and centeredness that comes with being aligned with oneself.
- Be Still and Let Go
Let life flow to you. Let go of thoughts that increase you stress and stimulate unhealthy chemistry. Your lack of urgent behavior and language will have a hugely positive effect on your kids.
I hope you have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Would love some feedback from you.