NeuroParenting Tip of the Day:
Know Your Beliefs
Taking Charge of our children’s health and well-being begins by first understanding your personal belief system, which is vitally important because your beliefs drive your behaviors. If we have outdated beliefs, we will behave in outdated ways that are unlikely to bring positive outcomes.
The outdated belief is written on the top line. The updated belief starts on the second line.
1. The doctor knows best.
No, not always and not all doctors. The best combination is a doctor who listens to the wise and wonderful intuition of the mom and dad.
2. If I have a diagnosis, I will know what is wrong with the child.
No, you won’t because the diagnosis will not tell you why the child has these problems. If you don’t know why, you can’t remove the problem, you can only suppress it, or manage it, or control it with medication.
3. If it is a learning, behavior or mood problem, it is probably a brain disorder.
No, it isn’t! It is most likely some problem in the child’s body and spirit that is affecting the brain’s ability to function correctly.
4. Medication will cure the problem.
No, it won’t. It will only mask the symptoms. The cause of the problem will remain undetected and untreated. Eventually, this undetected underlying root cause will even interfere with the ability of the medication to suppress the symptoms.
5. I can ignore the role played by stress.
No, you can’t ignore stress. Ignoring stress is what triggered the problems in the first place. If you continue to avoid facing the stress factors, existing symptoms will become worse and new ones can develop.
6. The child’s genes are the cause of the problems.
No, they don’t have to be the cause. This belief is an old-fashioned idea. We can switch our genes on or off with the food we eat, the lifestyle we live, the relationships we have, the exercise we do and the way we behave.
7. My child inherited these problems.
No, he cannot inherit learning, behavior or mood problems. These are not diseases, they are symptoms of stress. He probably copied mom or dad’s behavior patterns that caused stress, which then triggered the problems with learning, behavior or mood. We refer to this as inter-generational transmission of behavioral patterns.
These beliefs are based on the newest research. How do you stack up?
If you agree with the updated beliefs, then you are ready to Take Charge!
If there are some of the above beliefs you still find difficult to change, think about how holding onto those beliefs could be keeping you and your children stuck, preventing you, and them, from being healthy and loving life.
Let me know which beliefs you still cling to and why you do not want to part with these.
This article is an excerpt from Dr Gluckman’s new book, Parents, Take Charge.